Things that I like...

Some of you know that I've been seeing a therapist for the last 6 months. It's been interesting - she's been very helpful - sometimes just having someone to talk to that is completely disconnected from the rest of your life is nice. It's like you can tell your story to someone without them having impressions or biases on the characters. I can also express how I really feel about something... which I'll be honest, is something I'm shyer about than most would think. She also is reassuring and even encouraging on this crazy notion I have that I should just be who I am instead of... well... whatever it is that I am.

Trouble is, I'm not really sure *what* that is. Not to mention, that I have an overwhelming fear that I am boring.

When I told her this in my session today she just looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language she didn't understand. Of course I said it as I brushed the newly-dyed turquoise hair out of my eyes.

So my "homework" for this week is to make some headway on who I am, what I like to do, and what I'd like to accomplish. This is something that Garry has brought up with me numerous times, but the thought of "well I can't do that because my fibro/time/money/whatever" was an obstacle to overcome. My therapist said to essentially forget all of that (fibro/money/time/whatever) and just come up with a list.

I *am* turning 30 this year afterall, I should have *some* semblance of who I want to be by now.

The funny thing is - if I ask 10 different people I know to give me a list of 10 things they think I'd enjoy, I'd probably get a list of 100 unique activities. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or what. So, I'll be working on this list this week, maybe some cleaning because the house... well it's pretty dirty at the moment and I'd like to see how well the floor polish I bought can stand up to labradors.

A quick bathroom refresh

A few weeks ago I decided (for whatever reason) that I needed to go to Target. Usually when I'm feeling like I need to pick up something for the house I go to Christmas Tree Shoppe, but after multiple trips to the store over the last few months just to browse, I needed a change - not to mention there were some new collections at Target I wanted to check out and a few odds and ends I definitely wanted to grab while I was there.

Thankfully the damage wasn't nearly as bad I it could have been. 

The problem with going to stores like Target, is that I could spend a good chunk of cash in multiple departments. Given the opportunity - I'm sure I could easily spend $1,000 there in an afternoon. 

But thankfully I didn't. 

Aside from a few little things like plant food, my focus oddly ended up on freshening up the bathroom. I found some really cute hand towels and washcloths on sale and it kind of went from there. 

I really loved the green glass soap pump and toothbrush holder - our previous ones were brushed nickel and didn't stand out as much. The room was looking a little "blah" and the dose of color was definitely welcome!

Some water hyacinth grass baskets from Christmas Tree Shoppe (okay, so I did stop by there) helped corral the overwhelming amount of hair products/lotions/stuff stacked on the shelves. 

I used some items we already had around the house to decorate the shelves. The large conch shell is from my grandfather (not sure where he got it... but it's older than me) and the little glass bottles I had hiding in a box. 

This bathroom is almost impossible to photograph because it's so narrow... but you get the gist of it.

I'm thinking of painting the frame around the mirror (there's a leaf pattern carved into it) either silver or green, but I'm not entirely sure which yet. I have (2) gift certificates for a free test tin of paint from Lowes (yay! Family Circle mag), so I think it will largely depend on what they have available. 

At some point this summer, the sink and cabinet will be replaced by a simple pedestal sink after the plumbing construction is done for our master bath. Since this bathroom won't be our primary bath (and because it is fairly small and narrow) a pedestal sink will look really nice. Once we get our master suite completed (which will be quite some time) we'll look to redoing the floor and installing a new bath and surround.

But for now, a little updating is a good thing - especially if it helps corral the bathroom clutter.

And now... back outside...

The last few weekends here have been surprisingly warm and sunny. I say that because here in our little upstate NY town it is cloudy, wet and cold more often than not.

So instead of working on indoor projects - I decided it was time to get out in the garden.

To my surprise my front planter garden is blooming like crazy! Lots of gorgeous colors every where - pink, blue, purple, yellow... and of course - lots of green.

One big concern with gardening is the the toll it takes on my body. Luckily, my medications for the fibro are helping enough that I can get the work done (well, most of it at least) before my body tells me I'm done. So far I've managed to weed the beds, plant gladioli bulbs (which are coming up super fast!) mulch and dead-head all of the hyacinths.

Oh wait - there's more!

We also planted about a billion (okay, really only a dozen) baby forsythia plants. Two are in my front yard to make a nice curve to our otherwise very "boxy" landscaping, and the rest will be making a hedge in my backyard. I'm hoping my dog learns *quickly* that digging up the bushes is a bad plan...

I also took a few ideas from Pinterest and made a pebble creek bed under the downspout to pull the water away from the house and toward my garden. It's supposed to rain tomorrow so we'll get to see it in action.

However, the BIG project is building an arbor for my front yard.

See... it all started when I saw this:

Photo from BHG.com

And when I realized that one didn't need a huge, sprawling piece of property to have a gorgeous landscape, well, I decided this was the plan for me. 

Now, of course I don't live in a southern climate where flowers bloom the vast majority of the year. So, some modifications will need to be made in order for this to not look like a bunch of sticks in a planter bed 6 months out of the year. Planning a garden in Zone 5-6 climate is not easy, especially in my area because we do have significantly less sun than most places. 

But, for phase 1 - we're building the arbor. Unfortunately as well, our soil is only about 18 in. deep before we hit rock. You would think for four little holes you wouldn't need anything more than a post-hole digger, but that's where you're wrong. We found this out on Sunday evening. :( So sometime this week/end we'll be renting an auger to drill the remaining holes so we can set the posts in concrete and start working on the rest of the arbor. 

While we're a LONG way off from our property being this elaborate (I will probably wait until this fall or next spring to do the plants in front of the fence, especially since the design will involve some evergreens to keep visual interest all-year). The good thing I have going is that this portion of my house is west-facing so I get full sun. 

For now, I will be content with my planter bed of flowers. Right now the tulips and daffodils are in bloom...

 It looks a little messy, but I'm okay with a little disorganization :) Once the hyacinth and wood squill greens die back it will look a little less chaotic. There are a few hosta that are popping up as well. 

Another side-shot of my tulips. Such lovely colors, pinks, purples, yellows and some white too. 

Some of the greens are dying back a little - once the greenery dies back, I can dig them up, divide them if necessary, and replant them in the fall. 

Here's Herman. He watches over the garden. :) I found this little guy at Target not too long ago.

Seriously? More kitchen stuff?

Yesterday a miraculous thing happened.

It was if the Universe decided that for once I could have my way. When I opened my inbox I found an email from Home Depot touting the Rust-Oleum Cabinet Transformation  kits were on sale for 50% off. (FYI - the sale is over now)

I almost spit coffee on my screen.

So, for $35 a kit, I could *finally* redo my cabinets. The only problem was - would Garry go for it?

There has been a long-standing issue with the cabinets. Personally, I think they are too dark. The lighting in the kitchen is terrible as-is and the dark brown cabinets don't help the situation. The odd thing is - the wood stain doesn't match anything in the house. The cabinets are more than likely the original ones installed when the house was build in 1955, but they aren't of such a high quality that it would be a crime to redo them.

Also, more practically speaking, when I scrubbed the cabinets recently, some of the finish started coming off. While the stain is a warm dark brown color, the wood underneath it is kinda orangey. Blech.

With this information I sent the link to Garry to see what his reaction would be. He has been very outspoken against painting the cabinets since we bought the house. He also tends to like dark, cave-like colors and was slightly annoyed that I wanted to repaint the olive green kitchen a lighter color.

Obviously, I was a little apprehensive.

But, by the grace of the DIY gods, Garry was oddly okay with me purchasing the kit(s) to redo the kitchen with the glazed version of pure white (which was one of the three colors on sale). I bought two kits just in case (knowing I can always take one back if I don't need it).

For about $100 (assuming I'll need two kits, and for brushes) I'll *hopefully* be able to turn my very dark, black-hole of a kitchen into something lighter and brighter. Not sure when we'll get around to it, but I'm hoping over the course of the next few months.

Aaaand... we're back

Wow, it has been an incredibly long winter.

Not much in the way of decorating/designing has happened in the last few months. It's hard to be motivated to do much of anything in the cold and dark winter months here in upstate NY. Weather aside, I was also struggling with high levels of anxiety/depression and having fibromyaliga.

To be blunt - it sucks. To be 29 and feel like I'm in my 80's, in constant pain, and feeling rather worthless because the most productive thing that you can do is get out of bed and plop on the couch for the day. Well, let's just say it took a bit of a toll.

I'm lucky though.

I found a great doctor that was willing to work with me, that listened to me, and understood that I needed medical support to essentially "get my life back." It was to a point where I was even willing to compromise and get to "just being able to do basic things" without worrying I was going to be in a lot of pain.

The medication helps, but I wouldn't say I have "my life back." I don't think that ever will happen. At this point, it's more about paying attention to my body and realizing my limits and understanding the consequences of pushing past those limits (which I'll admit, I'm fairly prone to do).

Despite all of that, I'm still planning on a lot of DIY projects for this year.

Last weekend was the first time in about 6 months that the weather was warm and comfortable. I weeded the flower bed, laid a fresh layer of mulch, and moved some of the bulbs around. I also planted some annuals  to 'fill in the gaps' in the planter and in the front landscaped area.

I also felt the need to plant some more bulbs (gladiolus, and casablanca lily) around the front landscaped area along with some larkspur, bells of Ireland, and some other flower I can't remember...

Hopefully in a month or two they will start to bloom - I'm looking forward to it. It's raining incredibly hard today and it looks like the grass will need to be cut as soon as it dries and then we can spread some grass seed/fertilizer as well.

This weekend I will (hopefully) finish painting the bedroom. So far two walls are painted a gorgeous soft grey and the other two walls are the darkish blue from before. Getting the trim sanded and repainted would be nice as well so I can hang the matchstick blinds I bought from Christmas Tree Shoppe (they were $5 each!) and the new curtain panels.

We're also starting the major project of turning our attic into our master suite. This weekend we'll be measuring and putting together our materials/tools list to install the drywall and two walls for our bathroom. We were able to get a quote for installing plumbing upstairs and it will be fairly expensive - to the tune of about $2,500 - but at the end of the day we'll have a brand-new bathroom and bedroom upstairs - well at least the plumbing for the brand-new bathroom... it will be a while before we can buy the tub/fixtures/etc.

Being set to right and the (big) little things

Now that New Year's has come and gone, our house is finally set back to "right" again. All the little glittery decorations taken down and packed away for next December.

Usually when there is a holiday I tend to go on a major cleaning spree. This year I tried to get some major cleaning done between Yule and New Year's and realized that I have been slacking off a lot in that department. Have you ever had one of those moments while you're cleaning and think to yourself "We must be the most disgusting people in the neighborhood?" Yeah, I had quite a few moments just like that.

So after scrubbing the my kitchen walls with 2 magic eraser sponges and mopping the kitchen floor twice (and realizing that we woefully need to replace the base molding in there and add a second coat of paint to the walls) I've decided that I need to try to do at least one full-on cleaning thing a day in order to keep up with everything without hurting myself.

I still have 9 weeks left on my leave of absence, and I'm hoping to get a lot accomplished in that time. To be honest, doing little projects for the house really does make me feel better - at least emotionally - so I'm going to plug along with that as well.

I'm not making it a resolution, or even a promise to myself. It's more of an "it would be nice" kind of thing. I know realistically things come up, there are days when I'll be too tired or in too much pain to do much else than think about it, but it's a start. Now, if only the hubs would jump on board...

There are a few projects I'd like to tackle this year, like refinishing our dressers and repainting finishing our bedroom, but that will depend on a lot of factors - mostly time and energy. I think for now, just making a list of what I'd like to get done would be good. It would just be a guideline, something to try and motivate me to be a little more active, and hopefully motivate the hubs a little too.

Kitchen shelf and a spot of tea

Over Thanksgiving weekend we finally got around to installing the shelf in the kitchen that I've been dying to have since we moved in. I know I may seem a little over-excited about something as simple as shelving, but... well, that's just how I work I suppose.

One of the main reasons I wanted this shelf, was because I have some really cute antique tea cups and saucers that have been hiding in storage for years. I wanted a way to finally display them without having to get a hutch (there's not enough space in our tiny kitchen for a hutch) and to keep them out of reach from dogs/children.

Our glass tea set that my friends Pam and Rick gave us for our wedding is up there too, along with our cookbooks.

I love tea, and really, all warm beverages. There's just something about drinking a warm cup of something that just makes everything feel "right" with the world. It's one of those few moments when I'm not freaking out about something.

Antiques are something that I've started to appreciate more and more over the years - and drinking tea out of an actual tea cup (instead of a mug) is something really special and almost luxurious.

Ceremonies are written around tea; how to prepare, serve and drink it. It is sacred in it's simplicity and complexity. Tea is a part of my heritage and I'm hoping to pass that down to my children too. That it's not just about drinking it out of a little froufrou cup with a few cookies and finger sandwiches - that it's a whole lot more than that.

I have plans to "pretty-up" the space a little more. I'm working on some artwork to hang over the chalkboard, and we'll have something under the shelving too, I'm just not sure what. I think some antique molds would be cool - something with a low profile so when we walk by we don't run into it, but for now, I just have a few little things on there...

All I know is that the very long, barren wall is starting to come to life - and that makes me happy.
I also managed to sort through (some) of the crazy paper pile and file it away in our very large filing cabinet. I got a lot of my scrapbooking supplies (which definitely needs to be used for something!) sorted and the paper filed away. I think I'm going to end up donating a lot of it to the school (what elementary teacher doesn't love stickers?) and working on some projects to either sell, or give as gifts. I just have to have the ambition to do it...

My desk is still a nightmare. I really think once we get a properly-sized book shelf in the room, I can move the books there and then figure out how to organize all of my stuff. Problem is, I haven't gone through all of it yet to decide how it should be stored so I know what kind of containers to store it in, except for our acrylic paints... they look pretty...

This, of course, means getting ALL of my stuff from the attic, sorting through it (which is a good thing), throwing out or donating everything that I know I'm not going to use, and then deciding what to store everything else in.

I'm thinking of using a mix of wire, woven and cloth baskets along with metal and glass canisters. I've been saving the cans from all of our canned goods we've been using so I'm hoping that some of them will be useful. Maybe covering them with twine would be pretty.

The ultimate goal is to be able to get everything out of my big plastic storage bins that they've been in for years, get rid of what I know I'm not going to use, and actually start making things again. I'll admit, I'm not the best crafter out there, but I think I'm good enough that at least my friends/family/dog will be okay with it. Not sure what we'll do with the plastic bins (they're super helpful for lots of things, so we won't get rid of them) but having all of my crafting stuff "out" and where I can easily get to it will be helpful.